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MK Dongs Caption Competition

 

Come on you Dong's - get your thinking caps on. Use the button below to submit your caption.

 

 

 

Attention all Dongs, this match will be played in the new stadium next door. Would all supporters make their way to the minibus which is parked outside the main entrance. The cost for the trip will be five pounds: Vic

 

John Prescott approved pie stand next to the Winkiedome begins to take shape: Colin

 

The Denbigh stadium is prepared for its big opening night concert as the Dongs kick off their first game in the Conference North: JtD

 

For Sale One Stadium. Unwanted Gift - Never used. Reason for sale; Owner got the shopping centre he wanted.: AFC Nick

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"But Sam Haman got a good deal on toilet rolls at the Safeways at Plough Lane" Mr Winkleman: AFC Nick

Winkelman gets ready to shit himself, before franchises annual relegation battle

Mr Winkleman gets his toilet refurbished after he hears of AFC Wimbledons latest promotion

The 'end of season crapper' is prepared at the NHS. Hopefully it's services will be fully required.

The touchlines are ready to be rolled out at Millmoors: SwedishSaddler

For Winkleman to wipe his mouth after talking more S**t

The Franchise toilets are well stocked to tackle any shit that Winkie's gob comes out with: Hinders Fan

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9 out of 10 rats said they prefer warfarin to visiting the NHS. The other one supports the opposition.

 

It's a football frenzy just waiting to happen!!! : Florida John

 

Hold on lads, won't be long now, just another few seconds ... yes, there he is: I can see udons floating past now.

 

MK Dongs mascot fails to make the after match party.
 

It's no good hiding down there Danny, lad. We've got a game this afternoon whether you like it or not.

 

Serves me right for deserting the sinking Dongs ship!

 

Look at all the crap down there. It's either a sewer or the MK Dongs dressing room!

 

Football in MK is so shit, even the vermin are depressed: Vic

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"Boss, when you said we'd need a new strip, I didn't think you meant it literally!!!!" : Lee from Walsall

 

the mk channel on sky digitals remake of 80's hit series street hawk paled in comparison to the original.

 

"are you sure Pete?, I thought that flood lights had to be fixed in place. Besides, when I said I'll get hot keeping up with play, I kinda hoped that you'd get me a motor cycle instead" : Alan IOW

 

The new AFC Wimbledon Mascot arrives for work : IDI (MK Dons)

 

Danny Wilson: "can I have a car and some clothes please. I wish I'd never signed that win bonus only contract now." : Hinders Fan

 

Ba ding ding da da ding ding.....
 

Who blocked out Charles Koppel's face? : Florida John

 

Since Leaving the Dongs, Stupid Murdoch has been on a crash diet. He feels constantly aggrieved that Dongs fans still keep stealing his saddle : Vic

 

Wilson demonstrates a new training routine. Keeping the ball within the 6 millimetre box.
 

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Safety concerns at MK Dongs new stadium ruled invalid by FA 3 man commission : Florida John

 

"Where have 25 of our planks gone?"
"Oh, they're still getting back from Hartlepool"

 

Wood taken from Chinese Bridge to finish MK Dongs Stadium : Florida John

 

All the local inhabitants flee in desparation as Pete Winkleman's just said to this lot "anyone who likes Franchise, stay on the island" : Hinders Fan

 

Don't worry the bridge will be completed in about 3 years.

 

Winkie welcomes frenzied Dongs to his promised land (not quite ready yet)

 

Another of Intermk's fucking unfinished projects!

 

Wishing to allow his offspring to sample the entertainment business at first hand, Michael Jackson's child is loaned out to the South Asian Circus Company for acclimatization before learning to rope-walk

 

How come in Wimbledon do they just get on with it and build the bridge?

 

After a worldwide search, Pete Winkleman finally persuades the new cheerleaders 'The Ho Chi Mingers' to make the journey for settlement in Milton Keynes. : Vic

 

People travel far and wide not to watch the dongs. : Vic

 

Cut backs in the building fund at the MK Dongs stadium bring into question the safety of the Peter Winkleman walkway.

 

Eager away fans try the completed overhead walkway at the new stadium. : JtD

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Sorry Pete, I couldn't get to Shaft a Luton, will a Range Rover do! : Alan IOW
 

Steve Stride relaxes at Linford Manor 28/5/2002.

 

Charles Koppel: "Moving Forward"

 

More scandal after this at the MKDSC AGM.

 

For sale. Old banger. Jump start needed. Bodywork desperate for attention. Call Linford Manor any time after midnight and ask for Pete in a husky voice.

 

Well this is a lot better than going to watch the Dongs.

 

Following an extensive exhaust emissions test on Winky's Range Rover, MK's Police Inspector D. Lightrobree confirms that it is completely Coked up.

 

Now, hurry up and change that wheel Pete I cant hold it for long! Who let those MK pikeys steal the jack from the team bus anyway?

 

I'm exhausted!!
 

Sorry my mistake Pete, didn't realise you said " My fucking pipe-dream's OVER" thought you said " My fucking pipe's a dream lover...."

 

Dogger Dong stokes Rover in the latest edition of "Hot Bods and Tail Pipe" : Die Franchise, Die

 

Essex Dong 'cums' to the rescue to fill up the Dong mobile. And how did ED fire enough in there to power the car for the rest of the trip? Easy...he just thought of Phyllis Starkey whilst refueling : Hinders_Fan

 

WINKY!!, I'm still pumping, is that bloody bubble for the kids inflated yet?

UDONS gets bored while away traveling

 

Dong finds a novel way of testing for emissions : John the Don
 

Some bloke banged my car last night, but I did get a good picture of him on my camera.....

Charles Koppel is a cunt

Being a dong is a little exhausting

Foreplay? Oh, I thought you said 4x4 play.

Does my dong look big in this?

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Winky supplies his loyal fans with some of his good stuff before telling them "the move to Blackpool is just a short term thing" : Beesdaz

 

I knew the long nose that I got for telling porkies to the FA 3 Man Commission would come in handy one day.

 

The King Kanute of Football: Desperate new measures.

 

Look Pete, the pitch is flooded, there's no point in doing new lines : Vic

 

By the time he's finished sniffing all that, Winky will probably think that the Dongs have won the European Cup.: Hinders Fan

 

The reason for MK Dongs revival revealed. : Florida John

I've got Mark Payne, I snort cocaine, I've got franchise football in MK.
I'm going to move them down by the sea, cause my name is peeee weeee.

 

Call me a Dong but this fluorescent tube is tough on the lungs.

 

I must go down to MK again,

 to the empty seats and the Dome;

and all I ask is an overdose

 and a hearse to take me home.

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Starvation rampant in MK as Damon "Milton Keynes Dons' Number#1 Fan" Le Geyt eats all of the pies.

 

Asked about whether they were looking forward to Winky's new toilet bowl stadium, these two Dongs fans just replied: "fuck the toilet bowl when's the bloody ASDA going to open, we're starving here!" ;- Hinders Fan

 

Pete says we can only eat when we win - we both weighed 20 stones before we started watching the Dongs.

 

I think the new fitness trainer is overdoing it a bit!

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Donger recommended birthing method.....s*its out a fully developed, ready to groom frenzied fan.

 

Number 13 and club captain, Hugh G Jaculation lifts the Franchise Twat Cup trophy (opposite to Supporter's Direct Cup). Looking at that blobby minger, Winkie probably won't need any more trophies to fill the cabinet! ;- Hinders Fan

 

"only way you can get to see MKDons next year without a season ticket":- Udons

 

Udons picks up his first girlfriend.

 

Miss Milton Keynes celebrates the launch of the Dongs new cheerleader troupe:- Colin

 

MK Dons number 13 was beginning to question Danny Wilson's new corner routine.

 

Lee Scrivens to Pete Winkelman... "We will have more than our hands full with the new head of the MK Dongs cheerleaders."

 

Yes I can see there's some kind of blockage up there but it can be cured!!!

 

It's a cheerleading frenzy here in Milton Keynes!!!! Pete should buy the Dallas Texans franchise and move it to Milton Keynes so we can see some real babes here!
 

The MK DONGS new cheerleader happily displays the number of fans that the mongs have on her chest.
 

It's not over till the fat lady sings? Well the mk mongs are already finished so they decided to go out with a bang and hire a fat lady cheerleader
 

I don't care what Paula Radcliffe did, you'd better not crap on me!

 

I knew 13 was an unlucky number!

 

Blimey that's a bigger cunt than Winkleman!

 

if only MK took that many people to away games:- beesdaz

 

Attempts to put the first section of roof on the Frenzydome fail as the only available lifting device struggles with strong winds. Croatian site project manager Slippitin Backpocket explained "We had hired a suitable extending crane but that got called to an emergency when Damon LeFatGit fell over in Midsummer Boulevard", he added ; "we had to try and improvise instead":- Vic

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You can stick your Milton Keynes up your arse

 

The MK leg of  "Miss England" failed to provide a likely winner

 

AFC fans have nothing to do other than wish they still supported the dons; Thank you Udons for this entry - good to see that you still visit the Dongs Official Site.

 

The new MK Cheerleaders paws for thought before their next routine

 

Photo Archives: Damon Le FatGeyt, Rodge the Dodge, Cityender, Digger et al prepared to fight Winkie on the name change issue
 

Police step up the search for Essex Dong as the arses of six suspects are felt and checked for an anal beard.
 

Winkie Jr was disqualified from the youth team leapfrog contest for not jumping high enough

 

I really wish you'd washed your hands. Pete!

 

"When winnie said he's got some smack for us I did think he meant this, look on the bright side though, at least we get to keep next seasons strip."

 

The Dongs new all male cheerleading squad prepare for an audition with Lee  "Scribbo"  Drivel

 

The Dongs bring a whole new meaning to the phrase 'shirt-lifter'

 

Frank Lumpwood, lead dancer of the MK Mingies, the all new cheerleading troupe for the Dongs, puts his team through warm up exercises before going on the pitch. Taking time out to talk to us, Frank said "I think we've finally got it right and are offering the frenzied crowd what they really want in slack time entertainment", Frank added.. "These boys have to be fit as it's non-stop for 105 minutes"

 

The Dongers PR team prove that they can in fact find their Arseholes with both hands, and also take the opportunity to model the new Home Kit

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When Winkie said we'd be getting 3 Man Utd players I didn't think he meant cardboard cutouts!

 

My REAL heroes!!

 

Must change my glasses, the players don't look real!

 

the new MK magazine introduced a "Spot The Cunt" competition

 

three cunts and a dick

 

That's right little boy, come with me and you can can meet some real Man Utd stars...

 

I'm dreaming of a real football club, just like the one that winky promised me.

 

Bloody hell, I didn't realise these Roman toilets were so cold! At least the arse wipes are quite decorative.

 

Keane: Oh my God! I've lost my entire body, I've only got an arsehole left!

 

The new dongs players where statueesque at the sound of the roaring noise from the stadium!

 

"I've had to come down here to sample top-flight football which is supposed to be our birthright. The Dongs aren't going to get it so I thought I'd sample it myself - albeit with my other team. I've got a Man U shirt under this Dongs top y'know"

 

Mr. Wankinavan said we would playing Man U soon, he did right? I'm so excited I bought some of his powder last night so when we play Swindon I can imagine its Man U anyway,

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Picture submitted by JtD.

 

MK Dongs players enjoy state-of-the-art bathing facilities at their new stadium...

 

Dongs academy fails to produce home grown talent!

 

"Quick! The Gaffer said we're being loaned out to MK"
"Sod that, landfill and toxic waste are more appealing than that filth"

 

Executive Boxes at the hookah stadium were always full up

 

(1) Franchise fans try on their new 'anti-shirtlifting' devices. (2) Charles Koppel is still a cunt (3) Franchise reach new depths in their search for available players (4) X marks the cunt

 

Right, quick, get in and shut your lid, the binmen are coming! Believe me, it's the only way to get out of here.

 

Winkie thought he had a bargain when he signed his new centre back. No one told him footballers needed legs

 

I know the fans think we're rubbish but this is a bit extreme

 

Bloody hell these toilets are worse than Walton Casuals!

 

Shit we're transfer targets for the Franchise. Quick, everyone hide!!!

 

No-one's lifting MY shirt; Ray Armfield

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Thanks to Pete Baker for this picture.

 

I knew it would drive us up the wall watching this crap!!; Thanks to BD

 

That coke must be strong stuff I'm imagining cows on walls!; BD too.

 

Are you sure you can't see Graham?; BD three. Don't understand that one personally.

 

I think we've buggered up the okey-cokey again!; Guess.

 

We will escape this shite hockey cokey field one way or another.

 

The grass is always greener on the other side ? Kiss my arse mate. You should see the shit that plays here every other week.

 

One MK COW says to the other "The grass is always greener on the other side". The other replies "From where I'm looking it's a pile of shit on the field". The other replies "Oh you mean the mk dungs are playing"; King Don

 

Top cow: "don't want to swap with me do yer? I'm suffering here watching all this MK Franchise shit you know." Bottom cow: "nah I'm alright as I am thanks. I'm watching paint dry, which is a lot more interesting than what you're watching."

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MK's new scheme to cut down anti-social behaviour. Instead of ASBO's, offenders have to wear an MK Franchise tattoo instead. This should cut down anti-social crime tenfold, as tagged offenders wouldn't want to leave the house in fear of humiliating laughter from the 98% of MK people;  Thanks to Hinders Fan for this one!

 

I'm a fat cockmuncher who had never been to a football game before the Dongs arrived. Now I would die for the club

 

Woman Saying  “Does My Dong look thick in this?”

 

Oh shit.  They put that in the wrong place.  I can still see it with my t-shirt on!

 

Bet it's nuffink like Aideens

 

"I'm a cunt"

 

A bemused customer didn't understand why his request of a tattoo showing shite had come out like it had

 

since the green lion took up vegetarianism, his poohs had become particularly strange.

 

ASBO breakers to get humiliating brands

 

when the armless man agreed to let a doctor sew a leg onto his shoulder, he didn't realise quite how stupid it would look

 

"i'm never falling asleep at a party in front of those w*nkers again, look what the fookers did to my arm!"

 

even his missus tried to hide her face in shame...

 

last time i saw such a fat tw*t, her name was titmuss.

 

Get it off me ... GET IT OFF ME!!

 

Damian Hirst takes bad taste too far

 

"It's chinese.. it means 'big fat cunt'..."

 

as you can see I just love burgers (ten a day usually) so I asked the tatooist to do me a McDonalds tat, and the bastard left me with this shit!

 

The next day Nigel reflected on his foolishness in asking a deaf tatooist if he could have 'a monkey done' on his arm...

 

Now THAT's a drunken tattoo to regret

 

Mum, why are my fingers falling off?

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Rallying call for more people to support MK, out of one respectable arse.

 

The new PA at the National Hookah Stadium undergoes rigorous testing.

 

Oh, you said Ask MK - I thought you said Arse MK!

 

make way, make way, rent a crowd here ; Sir Alan, Wight Knight of Newport

 

Scientists recently tried to reproduce the stink emanating from Soho square. Unfortunately they failed. An independent three man commission investigated the project and overturned the laws of physics, and awarded them the Nobel Prize due to the fact they were working in unique circumstances.

 

The Milton Keynes Franchise PR machine that was consigned to the dustbin after the machine just kept coming out with a load of old guff. ; Hinders Fan

 

For the first time Winkleman started speaking a little bit of sense.

 

I were right about that saddle.

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Previous Competitions

 

 

You want me to shove it where?

 

No! I look the biggest TWAT! Ala Spartacus

Spot the bull (shit)

Village People Reform. Spot the cowboy.

No matter how you dress it up, it still sounds like a load of bullshit.

 

winklemans rendition of mullet kintyre

 

Sheep to Wankleman "What are you doing?? there will be no MK Dongs FA Cup song, Never has been, Never will be!" Then the cow pipes up with "I got the spade Pete, talk anymore bullshit and you'll need it to dig yourself out with" ; Sir Alan, Wight Knight of Newport

 

Builder: "Here, I thought I'd give you a little present...It's one of Damon Le Git's glowsticks. Here hold still, I'm just inserting it up yer anus!" ; Hinders Fan

 

Scientists prove the link between Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy and Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.

 

The Man from ASDA shows off his ventriloquism skills by manually operating his dummy, Pete Winkleman, in front of a bumper crowd of potential WalMart customers - sorry, we meant loyal Wimbledo - oh, hang on - Milton Keynes Dongs fans ; Tudor

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Bloody hell these executive boxes are a bit primitive!

 

Birthright! Frenzy! 5 Grammes please! (Chairman Winky tries out the new facilities at Denbigh North)

 

"Look, as long as I - Pete Winkleman - is in charge of the Dongs we will not be going down the crapper!"

 

Here we can see Pete Winkelman making the Franchise squad their pre-match meal. Now we know why they are so shite on the pitch :- Hinders Fan

 

"Centre Forward did you say. Sure I would love to play for you Mr. Winkelman"

 

Charles Koppel is still a cunt (sorry, I just like saying that)

"ASDA? Pete here. Give me the bad news". 'Are you fully prepared for it? You may shit yourself'

I can see my house from here

"Hello, Technical Support? I've got as far as page three on the user guide, but am not sure what to do next"

"Hello, is that ASDA? Do you deliver toilet roll?"

 

Look, for Christ's sake, I'm trying! Yes I know I've got a reputation but one man can only produce so much crap!
 

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FRENZEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Saying "cunning stunt" six times as part of a tongue twister competition got Mooey into serious trouble with Phyllis Starkey the MK MP - BelarusFan

 

"Hey bull, my name's Pete, keep still, you wont feel a thing"

 

Winkelman displays his tongue to show everyone why only a c**t would love him.

 

Milton Keynes police follow new lead in search for players watches recently stolen from training ground

 

So Pete, you've removed my top teeth, now what? Mwahahaahahahaha, I see, that's why they call you Winky! - The Coracle

 

This bull's just seen the Franchise mascot Mooey performing a striptease - Hinders Fan

 

Pete said "Well, we felt that with Milton Keynes being a real football busin-cough-club, that we would need to revamp our mascots, and make them more realistic... so, after hard work, and lots of lines of cocaine, we present MKfrenzy"

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Hey 'W' Stand on your head and I'll get 'K' to stand on your left. 'E' get lost or change to a comma! 'C' swap places with 'S' but leave a big gap for 'N' and 'T' who are stuck in traffic.

 

Although some Johnny-come-lately's assume they support a team called "We Suck" after hearing some general banter in the stands of the hokey cokey stadium, Pete Wankelman comments that the situation is not as bad as the 2004-05 season; "We had a generation of MK kids who thought they supported a team called 'Milton Keynes Dons Nil'....I will never forgive James Alexander Gordon for that."

 

Random Franchise supporter in the crowd: "oi stewards!! What are these six whinging tits doing in the ground? I thought the supporter code of conduct banned any MK Dong fan that isn't happy-clappy? Can you please escort them out of the ground because they tarnish the wonderful image of our Franchise." ; Hinders Fan.

 

It seems that Franchise fans took the chance to paint personal messages about the team on their stomachs too far - but at least they're honest!

 

Franchise fans try another recruitment promise.

 

The Dongs faithful offer King Winkie his favourite treat....

 

I don't know if I want to be in Winklemans Penis Appreciation Society!

 

Are you deaf - I said F not S.
 

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Winkelman: "Oi Le Geyt! when I said I wanted you to be a stool pigeon this is not what I meant"!!

 

Winkleman learns how to franchise a football club

 

It says 'ere that most people think Pigeon Racin is a better spectator sport than watchin MK Dons!

 

Listen up lads, here's Winkleman's half-time team talk. :SKC

 

A Unique Solution to a Unique Problem - Why Pigeons need to relocate from Trafalgar Square to Milton Keynes

 

fink of the damage I could do if I was a (concrete) cow!!!

 

Milton Keynes is not an appropriate place for the relocation of pigeons - it is already full of shit; shit and more shit

 

Bollocks, another Franchise defeat - And I thought it was only us pigeons that shit on the Franchise

 

Another Koppel classic

 

Yep - looks like I have all the qualifications to sit on the next FA Independent Three Man Commission

 

"I've got to learn this quickly before I see Koppel or Winky again." : Hinders Fan

 

Pete Winkleman is a cunt. (okay, not relevant, but true)

Kris Stewart sends the Kingsmeadow pigeons directions to MK.

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"A Dons Fan is about to get the FAs attention"

 

For Christs sake! we've relocated from the south pole to the north pole! When are we going to get some entertainment?! IT'S OUR BIRTHRIGHT! : The Coracle

 

Oi Winkleman wake up ! - its snow - honest.

 

Oi Stewpid Mopydock wake up you lazy sod, a job has been found for you at Denbigh Primary School. They want you to work in the canteen for 1p an hour.

 

The Mk Sleeping Giant is about to be wakened by Danny Wilson's mother - she's the one with the handbag.

 

Hey, wake up, the Franchise have won a corner

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Trials of 'bullshit powered floor cleaner' declared a hit in Milton Keynes! "There is so much shit round 'ere" says one cleaner, "it's like a perpetual motion machine!" :GloryerSCFC

 

Milton Keynes text dating scheme improved by picture messaging! :GloryerSCFC

 

I heard that MK had a lot of roundabouts but this 'Ring Road' is ridiculous!  :The Coracle

 

Getting promoted this year? My arse....

 

The finest ever Lineage of Arseholes now grace the Ancestry gallery of Great Linford Manor.

 

Lavatory Attendant's: "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it!"

 

"Now which button is it?"

 

Where's all this fluff come from?

 

The MK groundsman thought he was clearing the pitch in front of the five most important fans.

 

MK Dongs welcome their latest inductee into their Hole of Fame, a young Polish international.

 

"Dear Dad, a picture of me with the pictures of past FA Chairman."

 

My Mum said I'd end up hanging around with a lot of bums

 

jimmy carr was surprised to see jeff martins and family peering through his lounge windows and was quite frankly amazed that they did not on first inspection appear to be c**ts. (get it??)

 

Thinks....."I'll be happy when this exhibition of Dongs supporters is over...."

 

He doesn't know it, but that mug's about to get shat on by Winkie, Koppel, The Nogs and a member of the 3 man commission all at the same time...lucky him. But before then, he'd only seen Franchised crap on the pitch at the Hookah, every other week. :Hinders Fan

 

The portrait gallery of MK Dongs Chairman, past and present gets the final touches before the opening of Denbigh North :Florida John

 

The new Arseholes Football Club bar is prepared for the grand opening.

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"Three gibbering idiots decide that Milton Keynes is the true home of Wimbledon FC."

"Honest guys, we were only joking. No, really. Hey we didn't mean it, we were just having a laugh....."

"Hey Charles Koppel!...."

"I like the bit when you said - 'We find the cherished and fundamental principles of football in this country in relation to the pyramid structure and promotion and relegation on sporting criteria alone, admirable.' - fucking hilarious"

"News of the MK Dongs defeat by Stockport reaches Borneo."

"Monkeys react to being compared to the FA Commission"

"Pete Winkleman returns to the music scene with his new boy band, The Mongey Boys"

"The independent 3 Man commission find out what it's like to be fucked up the arse by the FA"