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Behind the Scenes

The unsung heroes that keep the Dongs on the road to success!

 

Our Security Team

 

PR Team

 

 

Chauffeurs

 

Janitorial Staff                         Car Park Attendants

                                                         "Move this bloody car!"

    

 

Groundskeeper

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Several new players have been linked with the Dongs this week.

Adolf Spitler the gobbing German goalie.

Priscilla the Hun the transvestite striker.

Veggie Kray the nut roast loving former gangster.

Muscles Leaney the brick shithouse Italian.

Hannibal Lecturer the child eating teacher, an attacker.

Soddem Hussein the midfielder who doesn't give a stuff.

Nohomie Campbell the vagrant model,

Jimmy Snail the slow Geordie git,

Yosser Arafat the Liverpudlian terrorist.

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Job Vacancies

Turnstile operator: Hours 2.55pm-3.05 pm. Job description. Able to stand doing nothing most of the time. Must be fit as turnstiles are rusty due to lack of use. Must have all fingers as gate money has to be counted.

Company Accountant: Must have experience of failing businesses, and be able to budget for successive relegations.

1st team coach:-must be good with children.

Groundsperson: Chairman requires an experienced groundsperson who is good with grass, weed and doing white lines. This job is not to be sniffed at!

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